Beyond a Better Swing: A Conversation with Ryan Gottfredson

I coached baseball for about twelve years as my son moved through different levels of the game. When Ryan Gottfredson began talking about baseball during our conversation on The Generation Youth Podcast, he had my attention. Then he made a distinction that reaches well beyond a ballfield.

A young person can learn the mechanics of hitting and still struggle when the stakes rise. Knowing where to put your feet does not automatically prepare you for everything going on between your ears. Most adults ought to understand that. We have been giving ourselves perfectly good advice for years and occasionally taking it.

Knowing How Is Part of Growing

Ryan described two kinds of development. Horizontal development builds knowledge and skills. Vertical development concerns our capacity to handle difficult situations, including the pressure that can make those skills harder to use.

His example was a hitter facing a strong pitcher in a championship game. Teaching a better swing matters, but handling that moment involves something more. Ryan compared the difference to adding an app to an iPad versus improving its operating system.  Podscan.fm

I appreciate an explanation that helps me see something familiar differently. As adults, we spend considerable time helping young people learn what to do. We can explain the assignment again, but another explanation may not address why a student is afraid to begin.

That gives me a different question to consider when someone struggles. Before I decide they need more instruction, I ought to understand what is making the task difficult for them. I may be trying to solve a problem they do not have.

I want to understand what they believe a mistake will cost them. Sometimes that is the conversation we need before discussing the task.

What Happens After a Mistake

The conversation makes me think about the moments after a young person falls short. Adults have considerable influence there, even when we are disappointed and would prefer that somebody else handle the next five minutes.

I want young people to take responsibility for what they do. I also want them to be able to look honestly at a mistake without deciding it has settled the question of who they are. That becomes harder when an adult responds as though one poor performance reveals a permanent flaw.

There is a difference between helping a teenager understand a choice and announcing what kind of person would make it. I need to remember that when frustration makes a sweeping statement sound reasonable. A sentence beginning with “You always” rarely leaves much room for somebody to grow.

I would rather help a young person work through what happened and decide what to try next. That takes patience, particularly when I believe I already know the answer. My knowing it, however, does not mean they have learned it.

Adults Have Some Growing to Do

Early in the interview, Ryan talked about the possibility of people changing in meaningful ways. That matters to me because helping young people requires us to believe they can grow beyond what we see today.

I cannot claim to believe in their growth while quietly treating their present struggle as their permanent condition. A teenager who has trouble handling disappointment needs help learning how to handle it. They also need adults who have not already decided that this is simply how they will always be.

There is some homework in that for me. If I expect a young person to stay open to learning, I ought to examine how I respond when someone questions my approach. Years of experience can teach us a great deal, provided we keep allowing them to.

I keep coming back to that hitter Ryan described. There is a real skill to learn, and practice still matters. But when the pressure rises, I want the young person holding the bat to have more than instructions running through their mind.

I want them to know that a difficult moment is something they can learn to face. And I want to be the kind of adult who helps them return for another turn.

Watch my conversation with Ryan Gottfredson on The Generation Youth Podcast.