Stop Parenting, Start Coaching

A Conversation with Steve Galley and Nate Crandall That Every Parent Needs to Hear

There are moments as a parent when you realize something isn’t working.

Not because you don’t care.
Not because you’re not trying.
But because what used to work… just doesn’t anymore.

I’ve had those moments in my own home.

And I hear it from parents all the time. Good parents. Engaged parents. The kind who are doing everything they know to do—and still feel like they’re losing connection with their teen.

That’s exactly why this recent conversation on the Generation Youth Podcast with Steve Galley and Nate Crandall hit home.

These are two guys who have spent years coaching, teaching, and walking alongside young people and families. And what they shared wasn’t theory.

It was real.

The Parenting Wall We All Hit

At some point, every parent runs into it.

That invisible wall where your teenager stops responding the way they used to.

You give advice… and get pushback.
You set direction… and get resistance.
You try to help… and somehow it turns into tension.

Nate said something in our conversation that stuck with me.

Most parents are still trying to parent their teenagers the same way they parented them at 8 or 10 years old.

And that’s the disconnect.

Because teenagers aren’t looking to be managed anymore.

They’re trying to figure out who they are.

What Steve and Nate Get Right About This Shift

This is where their message is so strong.

“Stop parenting. Start coaching.”

Now let’s be clear. They’re not saying stop being a parent.

They’re saying evolve.

Steve talked about coaching as helping someone get from where they are to where they want to be. That’s a completely different mindset than controlling behavior or fixing problems.

It’s forward-focused.

It’s intentional.

And it’s built on belief in the person you’re leading.

That’s what our teens are craving, whether they can articulate it or not.

Why This Is So Hard for Parents Today

We’re parenting in a completely different environment than any generation before us.

Everything feels public.

Every decision feels judged.

Social media has a way of making parents feel like they’re either getting it perfectly right… or completely wrong.

And when something isn’t working, the natural instinct is to tighten the grip.

More rules.
More control.
More correction.

But as Steve pointed out, that often pushes teens further away instead of pulling them closer.

The Coaching Difference in Real Life

What I appreciated most about Steve and Nate is that they didn’t keep this in theory.

They made it practical.

Coaching looks like asking better questions instead of giving quicker answers.

It looks like helping your teen think instead of telling them what to think.

It looks like creating space for them to own their decisions while still providing structure and guidance.

That balance matters.

Because we’re not raising kids who just follow directions.

We’re raising young adults who need to navigate life on their own.

The Roadblocks Parents Don’t Talk About

Steve brought up something that I see all the time.

Two big barriers.

First, a lot of parents simply don’t know what coaching looks like.

They’ve never experienced it themselves.

Second, there’s this quiet belief that if you need help, you’ve somehow failed.

That mindset will keep families stuck.

Every strong leader I know has people pouring into them.

Parenting shouldn’t be any different.

What Happens When the Shift Takes Place

This is where things get powerful.

When parents begin to lead like coaches instead of controllers, relationships start to change.

Conversations get deeper.
Defensiveness starts to drop.
Trust begins to rebuild.

Nate shared how families they work with begin to see their teens open up in ways they hadn’t in years.

Not because the teen suddenly changed.

Because the environment did.

This Isn’t About Being Perfect

Let’s be real.

No parent is going to flip a switch and suddenly become a perfect coach.

You’re still going to have moments where you react too quickly.
Moments where you want to fix instead of guide.
Moments where patience runs thin.

That’s part of it.

But this shift is about direction, not perfection.

And every small change in how you communicate creates a ripple effect in your relationship.

Why This Conversation Matters

If you’re a parent of a teenager right now, this isn’t optional.

The world they’re growing up in is more complex, more connected, and more overwhelming than anything we experienced.

They don’t just need rules.

They need leadership.

They need someone who can help them think, process, and grow.

That’s what coaching provides.

Final Thought

Most parents don’t need to try harder.

They need a better approach.

This conversation with Steve Galley and Nate Crandall is one of those that can genuinely change how you lead your teen.

Not overnight.

But in a way that builds something stronger over time.

And that’s what we’re after.

Not just getting through the teenage years.

But building relationships that last long after them.

👉 You can watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/mfoS0p0EXAA